Why wont my baby take naps?

By: Crysta Pleatman

Babies will innately learn many things on their own simply because they are pre- programmed to do so. Sucking, rolling over, crawling, and walking are good examples of things that all babies will do within the first 12- 15 months of life give or take. But, good sleep skills do not fall into this category of nicely pre-programmed instincts. Yes, all babies will sleep, but your job as a parent is to teach your baby how and when to sleep by teaching them the skills they need to soothe themselves.  Babies need long sessions of undisturbed sleep to develop brainpower. All babies developmentally need naps until the age of 3 or 4. This is a good thing because all parents need a break!

Myth: Keeping a baby awake during the day will help the baby sleep all night.

Nope, the truth is that babies need sleep and the more naps they take during the day, the better they will sleep at night.

A quick guide to naps!

Newborns 1-4 months need to sleep every 90 minutes for at least an hour and a half.

 Babies 4-8 month olds need to sleep every 2-2 1/2 hours for 90 minutes or more.

 Toddlers 12-30 months old can transition to 2 daily naps, morning and afternoon.

3 year olds need one daily afternoon nap that should last 2 hours.

Baby Sleep Tool Kit

First you need to gather a “tool kit” of items that will be used every time your baby is going to sleep.

1.     Two small super soft baby blankies that are exactly same. Never wash them!!!Only wash blankies if they have fallen on the floor at the mall or if your child has been sick on it. Babies get attached to the smell of their blankies and this will be an important tool to help your baby fall asleep. Alternate blankies daily so they are both used the same amount. They need to look and smell the same in order to work. Only allow your baby to have the blanket at nap and bed times. The blanket will smell like mommy and daddy or home and it will eventually trigger sleep cues.

2.     Pacifiers are a good thing! Babies have an innate need to suck and your boobs are not pacifiers. Allowing your baby to suckle on your breasts is not teaching independence it’s teaching them to be dependent upon you in order to sleep. Babies can find and grasp pacifiers at a very early age. Sprinkle the crib with several of them because it’s not your job to come into the room and put the pacifier back in their mouth whenever it pops out. They quickly learn that game and will spit their pacifier out just to make you return to their room to put it in. They need to learn to find it and can grasp it themselves, which most babies learn very quickly. Again, independence is the key.

3.      Crib toys. The crib environment is key to good sleep skills. Mobiles, crib toys, mirrors, etc should all serve a purpose in the crib. You shouldn’t just fill a crib with toys because it will result in an over stimulated very fussy baby Toys are not attached to the crib just to look cute; they are to be placed in the crib as a visual stimulant and as a distraction for your baby. Babies need to be put to sleep awake. Rocking your baby to sleep may make you feel good, and it may soothe her, but it is not teaching her how to soothe herself. Crib toys give your baby something to do other than to cry when they are laid down to sleep. Trust me, this works. Start with only one toy that your baby can see and touch. The best crib toys will be the black and white ones. I love the crib aquarium because it lights up, plays soothing bubble and wave sounds and can be interacted with as your baby grows. The toys must be moved after a week or your baby will get bored and cry. Toys can be moved to the other side of the crib for a challenge, or a new toy can replace the old one. Keep a bin of crib toys handy and alternate them every few days. As your baby grows you can introduce busy box toys that react to your babies touch.

4.     A sleep routine that is the same every day and night is imperative. Soon your baby will figure out that the routine means its time to go to sleep and they will give up the fight of tears and screams. As soon as you notice your baby rubbing her eyes, or getting fussy then you feed her and put her in her crib.

Walk away after you put your baby down to sleep. Your baby will test you by screaming and crying, but once she learns that you are not going to pick her up she will fall asleep. Its not “mean” to let your baby cry if her other needs have been met. So if she has been fed and changed and she is not sick, then it is your job to let her cry!!!!!! This is how your baby learns to self soothe this is a life skill that you need to teach your baby. How are you helping your baby if you pick her up instead of allowing her to fall asleep? You are not helping your baby, you are meeting your own needs as a person. Crying does not mean sadness or pain for a baby in the same way it does for adults. Babies cry to communicate many needs to us such as hunger, discomfort, and the need to suck, pain and sleepiness. A baby who does not get enough sleep will eventually loose all control and they will scream and cry until they fall asleep out of pure exhaustion. These cranky babies are often labeled as colicky babies when really they are just over tired and over stimulated! So do your job, help your baby nap and stop worrying that you are somehow hurting your baby by allowing her to cry herself to sleep. As soon as babies learn to self soothe they will not cry when its time to sleep. Your baby needs to trust that you will not confuse them by picking them up every time they cry. Let your baby learn.

Let your baby sleep.

You can find the entire sleep routine on iTunes by downloading the iBaby Sleep All Night App developed by iCrysta.